Doc Love (a.k.a. Thomas Hodges) is an internationally known dating and relationship coach for men. His knowledge and wisdom comes from having interviewed over 10,000 women during the last 35 years and posing fundamental questions on why a woman chooses to leave one guy and stay with another. He has also interviewed several men that are ‘naturals’ in this area and never have trouble getting and keeping women.
Doc Love’s thorough analysis of information gathered from his interviews has culminated in 4 volumes of work:
- THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY
- MASTERY I
- MASTERY II
- MASTERY III
THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY is the basic course that sets the foundation for everything else. Once the student (whom Doc Love refers to as ‘Spartan-In-Training’) fully internalises it, he can move on to the advanced Mastery Series.
THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY covers some specific concepts and ingredients involved in the dynamics of any relationship. Some of them are as follows:
Interest Level: Just as Location is everything in the real estate business, a woman’s Interest Level is everything in the dating game. Interest Level (IL in short) basically refers to how strongly she is attracted to you.
When her IL is high, she makes everything easy for you, does anything to make you happy and always finds a reason to be with you. On the other hand, when her IL is low, she starts to make some interesting excuses to avoid being with you. Interest Level is a dynamic factor and the man’s actions will determine whether it rises up or falls down.
Challenge = How tough it is for the woman to win you over. If you just flip for an attractive woman, then you are a zero challenge for her, because she needs to do absolutely nothing to win you over! Instead, if you set your standards higher and expect not only physical attractiveness, but also proper respectful behaviour, honesty, integrity and a flexible attitude, then she needs to work a lot harder to win you over. In the latter case, you’re displaying more challenge.
Confidence: This has two sub-components – Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem.
Self-Confidence = How strongly you believe in yourself. While it is possible to ‘fake it until you make it’, real confidence comes from product knowledge of life in general and women in particular…..and your demonstrated ability in the application of the same.
Self-Esteem = How much you value yourself. This is where it is important to say no to a woman from time to time, specially when you know that she is asking for something that would compromise your integrity. Women often do this to test you! But if you hold your ground during such occasions, her IL rises up. On the other hand, if you give in, her IL drops.
Control: This has three components – Patience, Self-Discipline and Self-Control (note that it does not refer to controlling the woman, which is actually impossible!)
The 3 C’s mentioned above – Challenge, Confidence and Control – are the masculine steel traits that raise a woman’s Interest Level. A man needs to practise all of them together to raise the woman’s Interest Level. If her Interest Level drops, it is very likely that he is missing out on at least one of the 3 C’s.
Once a woman’s Interest Level rises over 95%, you are never wrong in her eyes! And that is where you need to be in order to have a happy relationship. However, there is also a set of masculine velvet traits that you need to practise in order to keep her Interest Level high. These are: Affection, Respect, Romance and Humour.
If you fail to practise these velvet traits, her Interest Level will drop.
Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – DATING DICTIONARY focusses more on long-term relationships than short-term flings. And in order to have a happy relationship that lasts for life, Doc Love teaches you that apart from gauging a woman’s Interest Level, you also need to gauge her Attitude.
To be more precise, you date her Interest Level, but you marry her Attitude.
As far as a woman’s attitude is concerned, she needs to have the following non-negotiables:
- She must be self-reliant
- She must have a high self-esteem
- She must have a flexible nature
- She must be a giver
- She must have integrity, which in turn is comprised of loyalty, honesty and trustworthiness.
Note that it is possible for a woman to have a very high Interest Level in you; but if she has a lousy attitude then she will only end up lowering your interest level in her over the long haul. And this can make you miserable, specially if you get stuck in a loveless marriage.
Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY also teaches you that once a woman’s IL goes below 50%, then it can never be brought back up. So the relationship is over for all practical purposes. However, while most men would leave a relationship when their IL drops below 50%, women usually wait until their IL drops below 40%, because of their nesting nature.
And it can take a long time….possibly more than 10-20 years for this to happen (i.e. for her Interest Level to fall from 49% to 39%). But during this period, you have almost zero chance of reviving her attraction for you. The relationship turns into a rut, and yes, you will have to put up with her incessant nagging, arguing, temper tantrums and disrespectful behaviour in general.
But once it goes below 40%, she has already built up enough resentment and hatred towards you that offsets the nesting factor…and consequently she becomes extremely vicious! This is when you hear about lots of men being falsely accused of rape, abuse or domestic violence and being sent to jail on false charges! I’m sure you must have come across at least one male friend of yours that went through this nasty ordeal. Quite a scary thing eh?!
So if you wish to avoid visiting a vicious anti-male family court; or shelling out truckloads of cash to divorce attorneys; or losing your hard-earned money and house to a vicious ex-wife; or losing custody of your children; or losing your sanity in general, you most definitely need to be equipped with superior knowledge of women and dating.
Analysis of Doc Love's The System - The Dating Dictionary